Dec 30, 1966: Paul and Sandy Dunham

Paul and Sandy Dunham, December 30, 1966

On this day, 45 years ago my mother and father tied the knot. This is remarkable on several levels, not the least of which 45 years is a really long time. I think it takes a special breed of person to remain so committed after so many years. I think more than anything it takes stubborn people to be married for 45 years, which both of my parents are.

My dad probably gets the bad rap of being the only stubborn one of the two (I think visiting thousands of college campuses over the last 10 years or so qualifies as stubborn), but do not be too quick to discount my sweet 107 pound mother as not having a firm disposition of her own. For about 5 years she ignored the groanings and complaints of her sons and refused to order a hamburger without asking the cashier to “hold the bun.” Who does that? A stubborn person that’s who.

Few people probably know the story of their meeting. My parents met in May, I believe, of 1966 at a Campus Crusade for Christ meeting at Michigan State University. In the words of my father, “Most of us sat on the floor during the meeting and that night I found myself in the front row opposite a very pretty girl in a blue dress with a full skirt gathered at the waist. She had short blond hair that was sort of ‘puffy.” She had a great smile and I made eye contact with her a couple of times…. After the meeting I was up and across the room to introduce myself. I really don’t remember much about our conversation, but I did manage to get her phone number. She recalls I kept calling her Sally,” the name of an old girlfriend.

On their first date a few nights later, my mother fell asleep in the movie.

It is a little miraculous they got married at all to be honest.

Later that summer they ended up as counselors at a Salvation Army summer camp in upstate New York. On the way home, a whole summer after first meeting my genius father decided it would be a good time to pop the question.

“(On the way home to Michigan) we drove the northern route so we could go to Niagara Falls and then through Canada on our way to Detroit. Sandy gave me a break and drove part of the way across Canada so I could get some rest. As I lay down in the back I asked her if she would marry me to which she responded, “No.” Some times she thinks she should have stayed with her first instinct.” No kidding.

But he stayed with it. He wrote her letters all that fall and I guess eventually wore her down. Sometime before Thanksgiving that year, she wrote him and said she would marry him.

My parents are far from perfect and they have had their bumps in the road, but they have given me and my brothers a very loving home and have always been committed to each other. They have never given up. I think they would tell you that is the key to a long, happy marriage. Don’t ever give up.

I love you Mom and Dad.

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